Mum and Baby Groups are a fantastic resource for new and not-so-new mums alike.
I’ll admit, before I had a baby myself I wasn’t quite sold on the idea of Mum and Baby groups.
A whole heap of crying babies in one room plus a bunch of strangers with whom the only thing I share in common is that I too recently pushed a little human out of my vagina*?
No thanks, don’t think it’s for me.
As an anxious person, the thought of interacting with people I didn’t know was the main thing that put me off.
However when my baby was about four months old, we began doing Waterbabies (baby swim classes), and I was also invited to a baby group with a friend who had a bub just days difference in age to mine.
At this point, it had just been discovered that I was indeed suffering from some Postnatal Depression and Anxiety, and it was suggested that getting out of the house and to some Mum and Baby groups might help.
I was so surprised to find it certainly did help, in so many ways.
As I continued attended the Waterbabies class, and headed back to the Mum and Baby group the following week and then the week after, I began to feel a shift in my mental health situation.
Things started (slowly, of course) improving, and my confidence grew.
In time, I also began attending a mum’s dance class (my pre-pregnancy choice of exercise) that allowed baby too attend too.
I also connected with a Mum and Baby group specifically for mums with Postnatal mental health struggles.
Granted, only a month into my newfound discovery of the amazing benefits of mum and baby groups, COVID-19 Lockdown hit and all the groups were shut (Damn!).
However – for me – these groups have already had a positive impact, and getting back to them is now something to look forward to once all this is over.
Six reasons why Mum and Baby groups are awesome:
Social time
Let’s face it: You’re probably not being as much of a social butterfly as you were pre-baby.
In fact, the majority of your conversations are probably now a one-sided operation with your beloved little bubba.
A very cute conversation participant, but not exactly an effective or intelligent one.
Having the opportunity to have a conversation with an adult is golden.
Honestly, you probably haven’t even noticed how much you’ve missed having a conversation with an adult – apart from your partner or family – until you have one again.
This kind of social interaction is so important for your mental health during what is such a beautiful, but turbulent time.
And guess what? You won’t even have to speak in a baby voice or repeat each word twice, or shortened (or both!) eg: “Do you want your dum dum?”, “I think it’s time for a bot bot!”, “Shall we change your nap nap?”
In addition to mum getting some much-needed social time and exercise of her proper language skills, baby also gets to experiment with meeting other babies!
Make ‘Mum Friends’
Why do I need more friends? I hear you ask.
You may have a handful of fantastic friends that you’ve had for years.
Some may have children, some may not.
Both former friends with children and without may be completely understanding about your change of lifestyle, your newest (and sometimes only) conversational topic, and your shift in priorities.
However, it’s not uncommon to find that some friends are not as understanding, and so some friendships are just not as “easy” once you have a baby.
In any case, there’s something so special about meeting other people who have children roughly the same age as yours.
You get to learn to navigate these new waters together.
Together you may pass the same milestones around the same time.
Alongside each other you’ll face similar struggles and can ease each other’s concerns through it.
‘Mum Friends’ are so valuable. They just ‘get it’.
So whether you already have some ‘Mum Friends’ in your life or not, gaining some more at a Mum and Baby group is just so beneficial, in my eyes.
Learn something new
While baby gets to explore new surroundings, new faces, new noises, new toys and new stimuli, so too does mum do some learning.
Yes, Mum and Baby groups can be a learning experience for both of you!
You’ll learn new nursery rhymes and songs you may never have heard before, and find that your baby thinks it’s the greatest (and it’s the key to stopping their hysterical tears during nappy changes).
Or you may learn something about babies that you never knew about before through the situations of others – for example, at one Mum and Baby group I learnt about many health conditions I’d never come across before (not so positive), but I also learnt some great tips and tricks to help deal with said ailments if or when they might arise with my child (positive!) through conversations with other mums.
You may also, through different exposure to different toys and learning tools, figure out new things about your own baby and how they like to play (and playing = learning!).
Helps you get out of the house
In those early months following the birth of a baby, it can be hard to even find the will to leave the house.
There can be so much to organise even for just a quick trip to the supermarket – the nappy bag needing to be filled, timing between nappy changes, sleeps and feeds needing to be just right etc.
Because of the overwhelming nature of that, you may just find yourself isolating at home instead of even attempting to go out.
I know I was.
Heading to a one-hour-long group, once a week, in a safe environment where everyone is in the same boat and therefore super understanding, is an easy place to start if you’re finding it hard to get out.
No one is going to judge you if your baby is grumpy and crying, or if you’re wearing vomit-covered clothes paired with a birds nest hairdo, and running late (and if they are, maybe find a different group!).
In addition, on those hard days when you’re struggling, a change of environment can make all the difference to your mental health – and may help turn around baby’s mood too.
Eases you into longer outings with baby
Following on from the last point, if getting out of the house with baby has been a struggle, you’ve probably only been getting out for essential things.
But I’m sure at some point you’d like to get out to do more things that you enjoy, to socialise, or help you feel like the person you were pre-baby.
Going to a Mum and Baby group once a week for an hour helps give you the practice for getting out for longer periods of time – say an afternoon coffee date with a friend, or a day trip with your family.
Even if you don’t feel confident at first, a Mum and Baby group can help you build that confidence by practicing getting out and about – and you know what they say: ‘Practice makes perfect!’
Eases worries
If you’re like any new mum, you have some (or many) worries: “Am I doing this right?” “Is my baby ok?” “Is this normal?”
Getting the opportunity to speak with other new parents about their experiences and their babies is a sure-fire way for you to dispel these worries.
You’ll most likely find that yes, you’re doing just fine; yep, your baby is doing great; and of course, whatever it is you’re worried about this week is completely and utterly normal.
Most likely many other mums will be in the same boat and will also be grateful to hear your experiences too – it may help them quell their own worries.
Solidarity amongst other mums can be so calming when you feel anxious about a million different things (as most of us mums are!).
To find Mum and Baby groups near you, ask your Health Visitor or GP (UK), or look on noticeboards at your health centre, children’s centre, or toy shops.
You can also find more support here (UK).
*Or simply grew and birthed a baby in any style/came to be a caregiver in any way possible. I don’t mean to be excluding, I just thought that sentence had a zing to it…